Barclays Premier League
Paul Scholes' favourite training ground trick is to whack balls at his team-mates' backsides while they relieve themselves by the side of the pitch.
Sir Alex Ferguson revealed that the pocket-sized midfielder is so accurate with his pot-shots that his teammates are always looking over their shoulders, mindful of the painful sting that accompanies a balls truck by the Manchester United legend.
And last night Scholes underlined his enduring status as one of the finest strikers of a ball in world football with a thunderous volleyed goal to cap a majestic man-of-the-match display.
Ryan Giggs, who has been United's star performer in recent weeks, watched from the stands last night as fellow veteran Scholes orchestrated the win with a display of understated sophistication.
Like Giggs, Scholes is not able to command a regular first-team place these days. But his guile and experience - not to mention his shooting, vision and ability to execute a killer pass - remain potent as ever.
He masterminded United's triumph from his new deeperlying role in midfield, spraying long passes with frightening accuracy and causing panic among the opposition whenever he was on the ball.
And United justified Arsene Wenger hailing them as the Premier League's "untouchables" with a ninth successive win to open up a five-point lead at the top of the table.
They can extend that lead to eight points with victory over Blackburn on Saturday, a scenario which seems a formality given the run United are currently on.
Should they claim a 10th successive win, it would represent an incredible 15-point swing in a matter of eight weeks between them and nearest challengers Liverpool, compelling evidence to back up Wenger's claim.
This was United's 14th consecutive Premier League clean sheet, with Edwin van der Sar extending his unbeaten run between the posts to 1,302 minutes.
There can be few more daunting prospects for a Premier League team right now than a trip to Old Trafford, particularly for one with an away record as appalling as Fulham's.
Six defeats and six draws on the road this season, with just three goals scored, ensured they had the worst away record in the league.
There was never any prospect of Fulham springing a surprise and the only question was how long their policy of containment would last.
The answer was 12 minutes, Scholes scoring with a blistering volley from a Michael Carrick corner. The shot was struck with such venom Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer could only spill it into his own net.
To focus on Schwarzer's mistake would detract from the majesty of the strike which, remarkably, was a first League goal in 18 months for Scholes, who was such a prolific scorer in his prime.
Despite their willingness to sit back and soak up United's pressure, Fulham came close to grabbing a shock equaliser five minutes later to end the champions' record-breaking defensive run.
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Bobby Zamora, without a Premier League goal in 1,612 minutes, sent a downward header just wide of van der Sar's right-hand post, with the United keeper beaten and unable to reach the ball.
Dimitar Berbatov, who had missed a trio of chances early on, finally plundered the goal he deserved on the half-hour, profiting from a mix-up between Schwarzer and Fulham defender Aaron Hughes.
A delightful chipped pass from Scholes was flicked into the danger area by John O'Shea.
With Schwarzer and Hughes leaving the ball to each other, Berbatov nipped in to poke it into the net.
Such was United's dominance Fergie was afforded the luxury of reshuffling his personnel, Wayne Rooney making his comeback on the hour after a month sidelined with a hamstring injury.
Rooney scored United's third and final goal with his first touch, steering the ball in from close-range in the 63rd minute following Ji-Sung Park's wayward shot.
United could have won by six or seven, such was their dominance going forward. A succession of chances were either wasted or thwarted by Schwarzer, while United had two goals ruled out for offside.
This was a stroll for United who took another giant stride towards equalling Liverpool's record of 18 domestic titles.
Only their arch rivals from Merseyside would appear to be able to stop that from happening.
But with United in such ominous form, that seems a fanciful notion.
Man Utd: Van de Sar 6, O'Shea 6 (Evans 62, 6), Ferdinand 7, Vidic 7, Evra 7, Carrick 7 (Gibson 68, 5), Scholes 8, Ronaldo 7, Berbatov 7 (Rooney 60, 6), Park 7, Tevez 7.
Fulham: Schwarzer 6, Pantsil 5 (Dacourt 64, 5), Hughes 5, Hangeland 5, Kallio 5, Baird 5, Gera 5 (Brown 85), Davies 5, Murphy 5 (Milsom 80), Dempsey, 5, Zamora 4.
MAN OF THE MATCH: Paul Scholes (MAN UTD) - Brilliant opening goal was pure class for United
VILLAIN OF THE MATCH: Aaron Hughes (FULHAM) - Gifted United their second goal
NEXT THREE GAMES
MANCHESTER UNITED
Saturday: Blackburn (h) Prem
Tuesday: Inter (a) Ch League
Sat Feb 28: Man Utd (h) Prem
FULHAM
Sunday: West Brom (h) Prem
Tuesday: Swansea (h) FA Cup
Sat Feb 28: Arsenal (a) Prem
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